10 受損的物品(doc)
10. Demaged Goods The dust mites1 danced in the ray of sunshine that provided the only light in the rabbi's2 office. He leaned back in his office chair and sighed as he stroked3 his beard. Then he took his wire-rimmed4 glasses and polished them absentmindedly5 on his flannel6 shirt. 　　“ So,” he said, “ you were divorced. Now you want to marry this good Jewish7 boy. What's the problem?” 　　He nestled8 his grizzled9 chin in his hand and smiled softly at me. 　　I want to shriek. What's the problem? First of all, I'm Christian. Second, I'm older than he is. Third--and not least, by any means-- I'm divorced! Instead, I looked back into his soft brown eyes and tried to form the words. 　　“ Don't you think,” I stuttered10, “ that being divorced is like being used? Like being damaged goods?” 　　He settled back into the office chair and stretched so that he was looking at the ceiling. He stroked the scraggly11 beard that covered his chin and his neck. Then, he returned to his spot behind the desk and leaned toward me. 　　“ Say you have to have surgery. Say you have a choice between two doctors. Who are you going to choose? The one right out of medical school or the one with experience?” 　　“ The one with experience,” I said. 　　His face crinkled12 into a grin. “ I would, too,” he locked his eyes with mine. “ So in this marriage, you will be the one with experi ence. That's not such a bad thing, you know.” 　　“ Often, marriages tend to drift. They get caught in dangerous currents13. They get off course and head toward hidden sandbars14. No one notices until it is too late. On your face, I see the pain of a marriage gone bad. You will notice the drift in this marriage. You'll call out when you see the rocks. You'll yell15 to watch out and pay attention. You'll be the person with experience,” he sighed. “ And believe me, that's not such a bad thing. Not bad at all.” 　　He walked to the window and peeked between the slats16 of the blinds17. “ You see, no one here knows about my first wife. I don't hide it, but I don't make a big deal about it. She died early in our marriage before I moved here. Now, late at night I think of all the words I never said. I think of all the chances I let pass by in that first marriage, and I believe I'm a better husband to my wife today because of the woman I lost.” 　　For the first time, the sadness in his eyes had meaning. Now I understood why I chose to come talk to this man about marriage instead of taking an easier route and getting married outside both our religions. The word “ rabbi” means teacher. Somehow I sensed he could teach me, or even lend me, the courage I needed in order to try again, to marry again and to love again. 　　“ I will marry you and your David,” said the rabbi.“ If you promise me that you will be the person who yells out when you see the marriage is in danger.” 　　I promised him I would, and I rose to leave. 　　“ By the way,” he called to me as I hesitated in his doorway,“ did anyone ever tell you that Joanna is a good Hebrew18 name?” 　　Sixteen years have passed since the rabbi married David and me on a rainy October morning. And, yes, I have called out several times when I sensed we were in danger. I would tell the rabbi how well his analogy19 has served me, but I cannot. He died two years after our wedding. But I will always be grateful for the priceless gift he gave me: the wisdom to know that all of our experiences in life make us not less valuable, but more valuable, not less able to love, but more able to love. 受損的物品 微塵在射進(jìn)拉比辦公室的那縷陽(yáng)光中飛舞著，那縷陽(yáng)光是拉比辦公室里惟一的光源。 拉比坐在椅子上往后仰，撫摸著他的胡須嘆息了一聲。他摘下金屬絲鏡架的眼鏡，漫不 經(jīng)心地在他的法蘭絨襯衫上擦拭著。 　　“這么說(shuō)，”他開(kāi)了口，“你離婚了?，F(xiàn)在你想與這位猶太好小伙子結(jié)婚，有什么問(wèn)題 ?” 　　他用手把住他那有花白胡須的下巴，溫柔地沖我微笑著。 　　我真想尖叫。有什么問(wèn)題?首先，我是基督教徒。第二，我比他年齡大。第三，這絕 不是最不重要的——我離過(guò)婚!但我沒(méi)有叫，而是迎向他那雙溫柔的棕色的眼睛，努力組織 著話(huà)語(yǔ)。 　　“您不認(rèn)為，”我結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說(shuō)，“離過(guò)婚就像東西被用過(guò)一樣吧?就像是受損的物品 吧?” 　　他坐在椅子上，頭往后靠，伸直了腿，將目光投向天花板。他輕捋著他那稀稀拉拉 的、遮蓋了下巴和脖子的胡須，然后他將身子轉(zhuǎn)回辦公桌前并朝我這邊俯過(guò)來(lái)。 　　“比如說(shuō)你得做個(gè)手術(shù)。有兩位醫(yī)生可供你選擇。你會(huì)選誰(shuí)?選位剛從醫(yī)學(xué)院畢業(yè)的 ，還是選那位有經(jīng)驗(yàn)的?” 　　“有經(jīng)驗(yàn)的那位，”我回答。 　　他笑了，臉上都是皺紋。“我也是，”他凝視著我說(shuō)?！澳敲丛谶@樁婚姻中，你就是有 經(jīng)驗(yàn)的一方。要知道這并不是什么壞事?！?　　“婚姻往往像在水上漂流，會(huì)陷入危險(xiǎn)的激流里，會(huì)偏離航向流向暗藏的沙洲。等注 意到時(shí)已經(jīng)晚了。在你的臉上，我看到了一樁失敗婚姻留下的痛苦。在這樁婚姻中你會(huì) 注意到流向。當(dāng)你看到巖石時(shí)你會(huì)大喊一聲。你會(huì)呼叫要小心些，注意點(diǎn)。你將是有經(jīng) 驗(yàn)的那個(gè)人，”他嘆息著說(shuō)?！跋嘈盼?，那并不是什么壞事，真地不是?！?　　他走到窗邊，透過(guò)百葉板向外瞥了一眼?！澳闱?，這里沒(méi)有人知道我的第一位妻子。 我并沒(méi)有掩藏，但我也沒(méi)有大肆渲染。我們結(jié)婚沒(méi)多久她就去世了，后來(lái)我遷居到這里 ?，F(xiàn)在，夜深人靜時(shí)我想到所有那些我從未能說(shuō)出的話(huà)，我想到所有那些我在第一次婚 姻中錯(cuò)過(guò)的機(jī)會(huì)。我相信對(duì)于我現(xiàn)在的妻子我是個(gè)更好的丈夫，是因?yàn)槟俏晃沂サ呐?人。” 　　第一次，他眼里的悲傷顯露出了含義?，F(xiàn)在我明白了為什么我選擇來(lái)和這個(gè)人談婚 姻，而沒(méi)有圖省事去找不屬于我們雙方宗教的人為我們主持婚禮。“拉比”一詞意味著老 師。不知怎的，我感覺(jué)出他會(huì)教給我，甚至?xí)o予我去再次嘗試、再次結(jié)婚、再次奉獻(xiàn) 出愛(ài)情所需要的勇氣。 　　“我會(huì)為你和你的戴維主持婚禮，”拉比說(shuō)?！暗珬l件是，你要答應(yīng)我，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)婚姻 陷入危機(jī)時(shí)你要大聲說(shuō)出來(lái)?！?　　我答應(yīng)他我會(huì)的，然后我起身離開(kāi)。 　　“順便說(shuō)一句，”當(dāng)我走到門(mén)口猶豫片刻時(shí)他叫住我，“有沒(méi)有人告訴過(guò)你喬安娜是個(gè) 好的希伯來(lái)語(yǔ)名字?” 10月一個(gè)下雨的早晨，拉比為我和戴維舉行了婚禮。一晃16年過(guò)去了。是的，有幾次當(dāng) 我感覺(jué)到我們身陷危機(jī)時(shí)我就大聲地說(shuō)了出來(lái)。我多想告訴拉比他的比喻讓我多么受益 。但是我無(wú)法告訴他。我們結(jié)婚兩年后他就去世了。但是我永遠(yuǎn)感激他賜予我的無(wú)價(jià)的 禮物：一種智慧，它使我懂得我們生活中所有的經(jīng)歷并不會(huì)使我們貶值，而是使我們更 有價(jià)值，并不會(huì)使我們喪失愛(ài)的能力，而是使我們更有能力去愛(ài)。 1.mite[μαιτ]n.微小的東西 2.rabbi[5ρ“βιτ]n.拉比(指猶太教負(fù)責(zé)執(zhí)行教規(guī)、律法并主持宗教儀式的人員或猶太教 會(huì)眾領(lǐng)袖。原意為“我的老師”。) 3.stroke[στρΕυκ]vt.(用手等)摩，捋 4.wire-rimmed[(((((((((]adj.(眼鏡)金屬絲鏡架的 5.absentmindedly[(((((((((((((((((]adv.心不在焉地 6.flannel[5φλ“νλ]n.法蘭絨 7.Jewish[5δ
10 受損的物品(doc)